Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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