i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
