This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
