If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
