Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
