My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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