I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
