If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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