Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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