what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
