So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am naked and annoyed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
