Dual....:-)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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