if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
