and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
