And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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