To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
