coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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