I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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