I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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