He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
