we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
