I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
