I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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