Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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