No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize