Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
