Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
