i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
