Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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