the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
