I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
