sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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