Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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