Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
