You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
