Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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