her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
