I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
