i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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