Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
