Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I touched a dick in church today
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
