all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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