Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
