If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
