I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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