I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
