considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
