Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
