I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize