i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
