i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
