On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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