Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
