oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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