Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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