I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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