i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
