At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
