So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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