why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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