Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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