so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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