just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
