Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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