I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The beer is more important than you right now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
