I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
